The Walls We Build

Fragile masculinity impedes us from forming deeper relationships and understanding each other on a deeper level. The walls of masculinity creates an artificial border between us and deeper feelings that we may not trespass into. When we don’t understand each other, rather than tearing down these walls, we build them up even stronger, to avoid the feelings that we know are waiting for us on the other side. Yet, these feelings will only continue to build, and when the pressure becomes too strong, it’ll eventually break through the wall.

We respond to this approaching disaster in two ways – one is evacuating from this relationship, running away from the pressure at the wall. We don’t wait for the flood, but we lose everything we built.

The second is staying. Too often, we stay, in a desperate attempt to make the relationship “work out.” We tell ourselves that we’ve already made a place for ourselves in this relationship. While we stay and wait, the pressure builds. When the feeling overwhelm the wall, a messy tidal wave of frustration breaks through.

The alternative is allow the feelings to be released as they come. To not fear the water, but embrace it. Build a ship and sail into it. Explore our deep insecurities and grievances. Build a lighthouse for a way back. Find similar passions to build the relationship on land.

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