They say that in order to truly understand ourselves, we have to look to our past. However, for some who are ambitious and driven, we only look forward, ready to fight for the next day. However, when the forces in front throw smoke grenades of uncertainty that cloud our view, we are fully blinded because we have forgotten how to turn our head to see the clarity behind us. We are lost, unable to orient ourselves, unable to retreat, and stopped in our tracks. Perhaps our only option is to curl into a fetal ball, a juxtaposition from the confident command we once had.
I started working in investment operations running alongside the bulls. On lunch breaks, I’d root on traders as they yelled “make me a deal for three quarters of a billion” to their broker. For my job, I didn’t worry if a number was off by a few million – I just needed to make sure our billions had the decimal in the right place. When I wasn’t waving a red cloth in front of the bull, I caught a ride on the back of one – it was less work than actually using my own two feet.
But you can’t ride a bear. The bulls turned into bears, throwing me off their back, ignoring bluffs and red cloths. I didn’t know how to fight, so I ran. However, bears run up to 30mph. I could only hobble, with my legs unaccustomed to walking on their own. I tried to liquidate, but what was once solid had already sublimated into thin air. They say that when we are attacked by a grizzly, we’re supposed to make ourselves as small as possible and play dead. And as I fetally curled up, I was trampled by the bears.